Just Another Fashion Blogger?!

A few weeks ago I reached out to a fairly popular illustration blog to enquire about a possible feature of my work. When the response came back telling me, very sweetly, that the blog curator didn't feel I had found my voice yet in my illustrations, I was quite simply...crushed. I've never been one to handle criticism easily. I always, by default, cling to the bad feedback over the good. Positive reinforcement sticks to me like water on a window - it hits and it slips until it's gone. So when I got this first real dose of constructive criticism about my work in a while, I started reevaluating everything, and I mean EVERYTHING...my work, my blog, my graphic design layouts, my Instagrams, every social media post. In part this is due to my own crazy neuroses, and trust me I have plenty, but also because I have been completely and utterly engrossed in social media for the past month. I'm eating, drinking, sleeping BLOG.

Ever since taking the Blog for Fashion Business course at FIT, I've started seeing my blog, my illustrations, my professional website, basically my entire web presence, with a hyper-critical eye. Furthermore, I oversee all the marketing efforts and social media at my full-time job, where I really spend the greater part of my days scouring through blog after blog. And to be honest, the more I've seen recently, the more everything is starting to look the same to me. I feel like there was some sort of memo that was released to an exclusive set of bloggers with the perfect prescription for how to blog with grace, and clearly I was left off the email list. Every outfit seems impeccably styled, every Instagram of aerial view brunches, fresh cut flowers and feet, berries and ice cream cones, life through rose colored designer sunglasses...I started feeling like a total outsider, like a total blogger failure.

But then, something quite splendid happened. Somewhere between this week and last, the same blogosphere that seemed so uninviting, really started to inspire me again. After reading this brilliant post by Garance Dore 39 x Cooler where she embraced every part of her life's journey and encouraged that "the time is now. Live now. Make a decision. Become who you are.", I suddenly didn't want to be just like any other fashion blogger anymore. I wanted to be the original, first rate version, of me. I don't know when or how I ever lost sight of my voice in my illustrations or in my blog, but dammit, I want it to scream loud and proud now. As Maya Angelou said "you can't use up creativity, the more you use, the more you have." And I believe her to be true. When I paint, I feel like there are no limits for me. I can only learn, I can only get better, I can only grow bigger from here.

Have you ever faced a time in your life where you felt like you lost yourself, your voice, or maybe that you haven't quite found it yet?! If so, how did you find your way back? Dore once said "you can take five minutes to lose yourself, and years to find your way back." My loves, I'm happy to say I'm finally doing just that.

Much love,
Meag xx